Yesterday, I did some soul searching in Terminal A of Newark Liberty International Airport. And I came to the realization that I would have absolutely no problem ratting out senior citizens to the TSA. After all, why should someone get to bring a full lunch through airport security just because they’re old? I’m no threat to my fellow passengers, and I can’t even have my defrizzer*.
When flying and dealing with the other intricacies of national security, one has the time to ponder how broadly one wants to interpret “if you see something, say something.”
Maybe I was just hungry. Maybe I was angry because my terminal was only selling healthy snacks and I wanted a healthy dose of morning Pizza Hut. Maybe I just resented the fact that I know that I couldn’t pull it off. Or maybe it was the full bag of Archway Dutch Cocoa cookies she smuggled in along with her sandwich and corn muffin in her monster purse.
I mean, really, lady. Share much? Do I not remind you of one of your grandkids?
On a totally random note, a Kansan wearing a New Jersey Devils hat just walked past me. It was just worth noting.
* I mean, I can, but I have to find an alternate bottle for it, and that really burns my ass.