complete randomness

Pop Culture Throwdown: Me: 1, Smart-alecky stranger: 0

Because it doesn’t involve the phrases: “Can you tell me a little bit about your assignment?” or “So, what, exactly was your thesis statement?,”* I thought I’d share another story from my holiday volunteer hours**.  And in telling it, I’m hoping to uncover whether or not I come out well in the end***.

But before I can move forward, I have to give you a little background.  I live in the town that lays claim to the honor of being the home of the marshmallow Peep.  This is sort of a big deal.  Such a big deal, in fact, that almost immediately after Christmas celebrations switch from the holly and jolly to the yellow and sticky.

I’m not even being sarcastic when I say that I’m full-on jazzed about it.  For reals.  There’s a diorama competition.  If you did not just shit your pants, you have no sense of joy.  The world you live in must be a cold, dark place.

So, anyway, while I was working at the Information Desk last Friday, a similarly amused-by-all-the-candy-celebrating patron decided to test the knowledge of the assembled volunteers and staff members.  And, with her question, “Have you ever heard of Peeps Deathmatch?,” I bet she thought she had us against the wall.  But she didn’t know who she was dealing with.  Because you know who has two thumbs and knows how to misuse a microwave?  This girl.

If you don’t know what she was asking about here’s an educational video:

It’s been tempting, but I’ve never actually tried this at home.  I’m reluctant — for obvious cleaning and mallow burn-related reasons — to use my own microwave.  And while I know my brother**** would totally be into it, the fact that my mother’s mom-dar still kicks in when both of her children are in the same room and being too quiet keeps us out of the Peeps and toothpick-racing game.  Especially since this particular activity involves several Pat “nos” including, but not limited to: unnecessary messes, the casual misuse of appliances, and the possibility of fire.

Lesson learned: Never go toe-to-toe with me in a pop culture war when Peeps are on the line.

And a quick note: A much more clever way to ask about the whole thing would have been to inquire as to whether or not the festival included a bank of public microwaves and unlimited toothpicks for individual Peeps jousting tournaments.  Amateur.


* If you’d like to send me right over the edge, answer my thesis statement question with a question: “I guess I’m arguing blah demonstrates blah about blahness and that’s important because of America, right?”  Like I know how your brain works.  Oh wait, I do.  Because I’m a magical writing elf.

** As I’m writing this, my 2:30 tutoring appointment is standing me up.  Because that’s a considerate thing to do.  But then again, I get paid either way.  What’s more annoying, actually, is that someone is blasting Flo Rida’s “Club Can’t Handle Me” (running favorite, work nightmare) in the room below me.

*** I’m going to go ahead and guess that I won’t.

**** Long-time microwave fan.


3 thoughts on “Pop Culture Throwdown: Me: 1, Smart-alecky stranger: 0

  1. Hi Elizabeth! I’m Christine and I work with your Dad in Irvington… we’ve met before… anyway… I have to say you are one of the most talented writers I have read in quite some time!! I particularly L-O-V-E this piece and look forward to so many more!
    Congrats, good luck and (don’t tell your Mom but I say go ahead and try the microwave bit!!!) I wanna see pictures!
    Merry Christmas to ya Love!

  2. Pingback: Winter Broken « Cardigan Enthusiast

  3. Pingback: Right before I ripped the bag open with my teeth « Cardigan Enthusiast

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