Last night, I spent two hours trying to make sense of MTV’s Twilight-fest disguised as the MTV Movie Awards. In between moments when I attempted to figure out why and how teenage audiences have missed the noticeable lack of chemistry between ANY of the members of the Twilight love triangle, I tried to figure out why Shaun White wasn’t wearing a shirt and had opted to make an outfit of a vest and chunky jewelery from Chico’s. I realize I might be getting a little too old for MTV at the ripe age of 28, but if that’s the case, why did MTV spend so much time and effort having both Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez work old material within an inch of its life? Because when that character from Tropic Thunder got down with JLo to that song from 2002, I thought they were pandering to those of us who could cite the original sources of all works presented. I don’t really want to say too much about the MTV Movie Awards because I think everything clever about this confusing evening has been said, but I will offer a few of my own stray observations:
1.) Congrats to MTV for encouraging everyone to curse on live television. Congrats, too, for not being able to keep up with Jonah Hill, Mark Walhberg, and Peter Facinelli. I mean, I get writing material that you know you have to bleep for effect. But honestly, you’re opening a door for quicker, more foul-mouthed celebrities to run through. I was particularly proud of Peter Facinelli for completely messing up the censors, who eventually attempted to bleep every other word he said and in so doing, missed every single f-bomb.
2.) MTV switched from bleeping to muting the sound on profane celebrities halfway through the show. I think this was supposed to be less irritating, but the muting method always confuses me and makes me think my TV is broken.
3.) If I am ever as successful as Kristin Stewart, I hope I can be as bored and awkward about it as she is.
4.) It was clear, as Hortense at Jezebel noted in her live blog of the show, that the ceremony was designed to be a series of moments that would translate easily into viral internet clips. Aside from the opening bit where Aziz Ansari stepped into a bunch of movies, I don’t think those intentionally viral moments are all that viral.
5.) What is up with that teenage version of Hung MTV was promoting all night? I felt strange just watching the commercials for that.
6.) I was totally jazzed to see Aziz Ansari host the show, which is why I tuned in. Which is also why, I guess, MTV decided he’d be in some sketches and mostly backstage. (Our relationship has become increasingly passive-aggressive over the years.) To make up for what I missed, I’ve decided to include some clips that make me know that we all could have enjoyed the show a bit more (note: for whatever reason, they’re not embedding, so you’ll just have to follow the links if you’d like a giggle).
First, his host promo, which was awesome.
And, my absolute favorite Raaaaaaandy sketch.