I am coming to realize that when I settle down for an evening of competitive celebrity reality television, a show like The Celebrity Apprentice forces me to confront several key issues in today’s infotainment. The harsh reality of the world we live in that I faced this week was this: When is the attempt to rehabilitate or improve one’s image by starring on celebrity reality show so futile that it actually reinforces and adds dimension to one’s already questionable reputation? On an unrelated note, should I be identifying with Bret Michaels as much as I do, especially when he notes that some people on his team are starting to sound like child molesters in the dark, smoke-filled, Harry Potter-themed room they’ve lured a group of children into? Much has been made of Rod Blagojevich’s technological incompitance and Donald Trump’s nearly desperate (and correct*) attempt to fire Bret Michaels instead of getting rid of the governor, but today I’d like to speak about my favorite aspect of Rod Blagojevich’s character: he cannot stop simultaneously lying and telling the truth. In the boardroom, NOTHING was the incompetent project manager’s fault. According to Blagojevich, honestly assessing your boss like Curtis Stone and Michael Johnson did is part of an elaborate personal vendetta, but he absolutely refused to put blame on the person (Bret Michaels) who absorbed his incompetence and who was the most likely target for Trump’s firin’ hand**. The best and most demonstrative part of the show (meaning it shows both why Rod Blagojevich is probably the person most of us think he is and why he makes compelling television): When Donald Trump asked that really ambitious Victoria’s Secret model*** what the former governor was doing on the plane home from Florida and she answered that Blagojevich was sleeping, Blagojevich’s response was not to own up to the fact, but to note that while this whole thing happened on camera, he was wearing sunglasses, which means no one can prove any of this beyond a reasonable doubt.
* It was noted in a recap at EW.com this week that Trump’s attempts to get Blagojevich to bring Michaels back into the boardroom for firing time was a self-interested move. And I think that recap was dead on. Because Rod Blagojevich makes for far more interesting television than Bret Michaels does. Next to the former governor, Michaels looks like a down-to-earth everyguy who just likes to hit on anything vaguely female, like your high school friend’s really creepy dad. Or in my case, the orthodontist. And that doesn’t really bring The Celebrity Apprentice party. Working for RockSolid, the governor is a hot mess; Michaels is just vaguely annoying.
** Even Bret appeared confused about not being held accountable for being the de facto project manager and admitted that he should be up for firing.
***I am still not going to learn her name. She was good, but she’s not long for this show. Sharon Osbourne’s bronchitis or plague or something is going to clear up soon and she’s going to become even more powerful. Telling the other women that without Cyndi, watching Tenacity work together would be like watching ice melt was just part of a much longer, multi-level plan that knocks out good, but boring players.